Wait. Before you go off on me, let me explain.
Bullies are bullies because they’ve been bullied themselves. Got it? It is a learned behavior. No one is born a bully. People who “hurt” other people do it because they have been badly hurt in the past or are still hurting in some way because of a terrible situation in their own life. They just can’t stop themselves from inflicting it on other people. It’s no excuse and I would never condone the behavior. But sometimes, people lose their way and we have to be aware of this. Trust me, 99.9% of people in the world would “choose” NOT to willfully hurt someone. Humans are just not made that way. Remember, each one of us is a product of our environment and ourselves. We cannot separate the two. Sometimes, someone may just get too tired or feels too beat up to keep it together and put a smile for the world everyday. That’s ok. There is hope for them.
I know many of you may want to be angry with bullies or cause them pain like they did to you. You may even want to kill them. I understand but this will NOT fix the problem. Without proper counseling and therapy, a bully cannot fully understand the severity of their actions or the hurt they cause. Their misguided thought processes are just part of life for them and they don’t know how to break the cycle or how to make their own pain go away.
If you are the reciever of the abuse from a bully, then you have to know when to say enough is enough for you. As I always state, you should always put your well being first. It is not your job to save them or force them into counseling. You have to merely love them enough to help them make their own decision to heal or even tougher than that, walk away. Remember, you are a human being and you should only subject yourself to so much neglect and abuse. Loving sometimes translates into leaving. Give yourself permission to love from afar and pray that the person who is hurting you will find their way.
If you are the “bully” or the “one who hurts other people” in whatever method that is for you, stop for a second and ask yourself “Why do I hurt other people?”. The answer(s) you get may not be to your liking or they may be too painful and raw, but acknowledging them is the beginning to a path to your true happiness. Now, try saying these to yourself “I deserve to be happy”…”I really do love myself”…”I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.” Feel those words and please know this, you ARE a GOOD person. Yes, you are. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different or make you feel anything less. Now, when you’re ready, please get some help. Find a licsenced professional to talk to. Someone who cares about you. It’s going to be ok. A life without “emotional battles or pain” is right around the corner if you want it. It’s not going to be easy but it will be worth it. How does that sound?
Together, all of us can help each other move through the pain and into the healing. Love is an amazing thing. Let’s make sure we tell those we care about often. And for those we cannot love directly, never stopping loving them from afar, for they need it the most.
Love and Blessings,
Coach Dina Blas
Dina Blas is a Confidence Coach and Motivational Speaker in Dallas, Texas. Visit http://www.DinaBlas.com to learn more about her services and to request a free 30 minute phone consultation.
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