The holidays are usually a time for families and friends to get together and celebrate what they’re thankful for. A time for people who care about each other to profess their love and caring in an open and honest manner. However, sometimes, the holidays hold very different feelings for some. “Special” days are just lonely, painful and sometimes unbearable. The reminders of a relationship that didn’t work out, the mourning of past family members or even the torment of an old lover that surfaces each time gift giving comes around. What do you do?
First, be you! Express yourself. Get mad if you’re angry. Cry if you’re hurt. Scream if you’ve had enough. Whatever you do, don’t hold your emotions in! Let them out into the universe and begin to heal. Give yourself permission to be human, not superhuman. Let your guard down and let a friend be there for you while you let it out. Don’t have anyone? Reach out to a co-worker, a church member, a Facebook group, a Twitter follower, a counselor, etc. If no one is around, start the healing yourself by figuring out what you’re so angry about and start your “I’m upset because” list. Be honest with yourself. Write it down. Give it a voice. Keep writing until you can’t write anymore. When you’re done with the list, throw it away. Do this every day until you get fed up of writing about it and are ready to do something about it. You know you’ll be ready when you stop looking through the rear view mirror at the past and start looking forward to changing your perception of the situation. Only you can help you move forward. No matter the issue or the person, find a way to get rid of the unhealthy feelings and destructive thoughts you have. Why not start today? Find an outlet and LET IT OUT! You deserve to be happy so let the healing begin.
Second, learn to forgive and let go. Easier said than done, granted. But never impossible. NEVER. No matter what the situation was or who the person was, holding on to negative emotions causes more harm than good. Put yourself first and ask yourself:
1. Do I deserve to be happy? (Answer should be YES!)
2. Will I die (literally) if I find a way to get rid of the pain, sorrow or indecision in my heart? (Answer should be NO)
3. Can I change the past? (Answer should be NO)
4. Do I deserve to be happy? (Redundant but SO important. Answer should be YES!)
The truth of the matter is, what is done is done. The past has come and gone. It is now time to change your present so your future can be everything you want it to be! Remember, you can’t change or control another person. You can only change and control yourself. Put yourself first in your life. Consider the options in front of you and the opinions given to you by others and now go make your OWN decision. There are no WRONG decisions. No one is living your life so why should they be running your life. Take back your power and find the goodness in your heart and the passion in your own soul to live a fulfilled and satisfying life. Forgive those who hurt you or misguided you and LET GO! Life was meant to be lived! So LIVE!!! What are you waiting for? :)
Start the year off with a HAPPY you! You Deserve it! You’ve Earned it! Now Go Get It!!!! :)
Love and Blessings,
Coach Dina Blas
Dina Blas is a Confidence Coach and Motivational Speaker in Dallas, Texas. Visit http://www.DinaBlas.com to learn more about her services and to request a free 30 minute phone consultation.
© 2012 Dina Blas. The author grants reprint permission to opt-in publications and websites so long as the copyright and by-line above are included intact and the article is not used in spam. A courtesy copy of your publication is appreciated.