Definition: truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness; freedom from deceit or fraud; uprightness and fairness.
WOW! Looks like a lot to live up to doesn’t it? Or does it? Do you create your own honesty rules instead of living by society’s interpretation? Do you have different levels of honesty for different people in your life? Ever convince yourself of, “what they don’t know won’t hurt them”? I can see you smiling already. It’s ok. You’re not alone.
Let me simplify this whole topic for you, being honest with yourself and with the world takes less time than being dishonest. It’s a fact. When you’re honest, you’re done with it the moment it happens, the moment the words are spoken or the action taken. When you’re dishonest, life becomes a series of dishonesty. Here’s how: once the lie is out, now you’ve got to remember who you were dishonest to, what you were dishonest about, when you were dishonest, how you were dishonest, did anyone else hear or see you, is it going to come back to haunt you and ultimately, was it worth it? Was it really worth hurting someone you cared about?
If honesty was easy, everyone would do it, right? Right, but guess what, it’s not easy. It takes courage and the ability to stand up to others. Unfortunately, we live in a society that almost frowns on the “good” guy. To do the right thing is almost unheard of now. Why is that? Why have we allowed the dishonest to flourish and prosper? What are we afraid of or maybe it’s who are we afraid of?
We should never be afraid of being honest. It’s the right thing to do in any situation. The truth will always set your mind and heart free. It may not feel like it at the time but it will work out in the end. It always does. Being honest lifts the burdens, lightens the load, allows for good things to enter your life, promotes emotional growth, creates happiness, cultivates new streams of income, strengthens all relationships and always brings authentic people into your life. Who wouldn’t want that?
Are you ready to be honest in every aspect of your life? Are you ready to live a life of abundance (in every way)? You should be. Why? Because you deserve it. You are an intelligent, beautiful, curious, faithful, sweet and funny person. You are what you were intended to be so why not shine for all the world to see. I want to see.
Honesty is fundamental to having a life worth living. Without honesty, what do you really have? A sham.
All the best,
Coach Dina Blas
Dina Blas is a Confidence Coach and Motivational Speaker in Dallas, Texas. Visit http://www.DinaBlas.com to learn more about her services and to request a free 30 minute phone consultation.
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Dina Blas is an Inner Healing and Confidence Coach who helps her clients who have experienced childhood trauma break the toxic relationship cycle and rewrite their story. Learn how to let go of your past and step into your power by contacting Dina today via her website www.DinaBlas.com or by joining her private community here: https://links.dinablas.com/Community
Dina,
I agree that it is more important to be honest/truthful than to lie. As an adult, I recognize the value of truth and how it aligns with my character. If I were to lie about little things, then I would be more inclined to lie about big things. So honesty is the way to go. I tend to say what I mean and mean what I say. This is not to say I have not walked away from a conversation when I knew the person did not want full honesty. I have also lied at least once a year for the past 19 years when my children have inquired about Santa Claus and I figure I’ll be telling that lie for at least another 3 years.
For me, it is easier to tell the truth and be truthful than to lie.
Etoy
Honesty is a requirement of a healthy self and a healthy relationship, regardless if you’re telling your children about the existence of the Easter Bunny or telling your spouse that he/she is abnoxious and overbearing. Honesty reveals actuality and reality, while lying covers up things that need to be hidden, and if we are living our lives covering up things, then we need to reconsider the type of lives we live and what examples we’re setting for those who admire and look up to us. Honesty does more help than lying does. Even though honesty may hurt people’s feelings, disappoint, or even break up a home, it’s still required, and any statement or action that has to give birth to a lie should be avoided so that feelings are not hurt, people are not disappointed, and homes are not broken. The question was asked in the parent postings, “Why have we allowed the dishonesty to flourish and prosper?” My answer to this question is quite simple…because we as a society have become selfish. Allowing and performing dishonesty, and other types of folly, keep us feeling like we’ve done justice; when in fact, we’ve only done ourselves and others a disservice. We lie because it seems like we’ve hidden something we need to hide – not at all considering the disservice done to the other party involved. We lie because it keeps us out of trouble. We tolerate lying because we feel if we expose the lie, our lives, or our careers, or families will now be involved and consequently damaged. It’s all for selfish reasons. The bottom line is that we need to live a virtuous life and eliminating actions and statements that cultivate a lie would help us live that virtuous life. Who knows – a lie avoided may lead to a society of honesty. Honesty can be contagious 🙂
We grow from the truth. That’s the bottom line. There is no extra included. Once you know better, you do better. Once you’re aware of undeniable, raw truth with no special ingredients or additives, you have no choice but to elevate your thought which elevates your mind and elevates your actions. This is scientific. Once man became aware that sunlight, soil and water made seeds grow, he automatically began planting more seeds and kept them watered and well-lit in fertile soil. What other choice would he have? See how simple that is? Once the truth is placed in your face, you have no other choice but to grow from it. We excel and accelerate from the truth. Any part of a lie is a lie. A white lie is a lie. See how simple that is? Lie is the noun and white is an adjective. It’s still a lie! People irritate me with “it’s just a white lie” or “it won’t matter because no one will find out.” Anything done can be reciprocated and reproduced. So, yes, someone will find out and they could suffer from non-truth. 1% of a lie means that the truth was 99% and since it was not 100%, it is not valid or acceptable.
I wholeheartedly agree that honesty is the best policy. The only thing that bothers me is the people that are “afraid” of it. What I mean is, someone may say “be completely honest with me”, then when you are, they get upset because they don’t like the truth. Personally, I want others to be honest with me. Sometimes the truth hurts, but dishonesty hurts even more. It’s cliche, but the truth will set you free. Dishonesty tends to hold you hostage. When you break free from it, everything seems to fall in place. One of my favorite sayings is “keep it real.” That’s because I know what to expect if you’re real (honest). From a dishonest person, I don’t know what to expect, as there is no consistency.
~Steph
Wow, this is some really interesting reading and a great topic. So the dark horse will now enter her thoughts on this cookie cutter, Cleaver life of honesty and truth we all so desprately say we want to live but don’t. Let’s be real here people. Yes, it would be ideal if we all told the truth and not lie. But really, is the truth always the best course of action to take? Is it really that bad? Really? Let’s not be hypocritical. Do you really have the desire to always tell the truth and is it always warranted?
As old folks use to say, don’t let the right hand know what the left hand is doing. Break that down and analyze it however you see fit. Some won’t even understand the saying. Hell, I lie. So what and big flipping deal. Do I feel guilty at times, yes. Other times no. I say what I say and mean what I mean, and when I’m good and ready will tell the blunt honest truth cutting deep in the souls who receive my honest words. I have lied to save the life of a friend, I have lied to make someone happy who really needed it. Am I a bad person for it? If you think so, then power to you. Did that person think so, no. If it puts a smile on their face and hope in their heart, then it was all worth it and I feel absolutely no guilt, remorse or shame. So, how do you think people would judge me on that? My answer is I really don’t care.
There are degrees to everything and yes I believe there are degrees to a lie. Lying to your kids about a Santa Clause, white lie. Lying to a partner that you don’t have AIDS (for example) very big black, ugly lie. Now, do you honestly believe these two scenario’s are on the same scale of lies? A lie is just a lie huh? Ok. If you think so. Only if you say so and believe it. There is something called a shade of grey and I believe lies fall into that category because it may not always be the “right” thing to tell the truth. I don’t care, who you are and what you’re beliefs are as a person. You will tell it and you will live with it and some do move on from it. I know I have and will continue to do so. I must admit, I am very selfish when I am considering someone’s feelings when I lie to them because I know the truth can be devastating. Why shatter someone’s hope if you don’t have to?
Nothing in life is easy or simple and the choices we make we have to live with them. As I always say, when life throws an obstacle in your way it’s all about how you’re going to deal with it. If I truly believe my answer to or response to a situation warrants a lie I’m going to tell it and stand by it. If I feel that later down the road I would need to explain myself as to why, then I will do it. But if at that VERY moment when that lie leaves my lips I know I have to bare the burden and I am willing to do it.
Let me say, what they, you, whoever don’t know in reality won’t hurt, it is probably safe to say that it won’t (read this line very slowly until it sinks in). There is a reason. Good or bad. Stick to it and reap whatever consequences if you must. If in your heart you can’t bear it then don’t tell it, better yet don’t say nothing at all if lying is so bad.
I can lie just as fast as I can tell the truth. There is no effort. They both rate on the same scale to me. Am I the big bad wolf here? If people want to believe that, go right ahead and judge me. I really don’t care, I would lie if it meant saving the life of a loved one, hurt or no hurt, blunt or not, with feeling or no feeling. I would do it repetitively and without guilt. Is the truth the only thing we can grow from? I don’t think so. Truth vs lies, black vs white, love vs hate there is a reason there is an opposite pole for everything. It’s called balance. We need to lie to even out the scale every now and then.
i like reading this article…thanks.