If so, you may be caught in a toxic relationship cycle — and it’s time to break free.

But how?

Before we dive in, I want you to keep two truths in mind:

💬 First: Acknowledge that staying is a choice.

Maybe you said yes to the relationship even when you saw red flags.
Maybe you stayed long after your spirit whispered “leave.”
There is no shame here — just an honest acknowledgment of your role.

💬 Second: Look at what you’re energetically attracting.

There may be something in your energy — a belief, a wound, a pattern — that’s drawing the same type of destructive dynamic back into your life.
Energy doesn’t lie. And it will keep repeating until you heal the root.

Telling you what to do isn’t enough. If we don’t look at the “why” behind these patterns, they’ll simply return in a different form. Again and again.

This process is about understanding yourself, not blaming yourself.
And that begins with one brave step inward.

🌿 Let’s Begin Gently

Find a quiet, cozy place.
Grab your journal, a pen, and your favorite non-alcoholic drink.
Take three long, deep breaths.
Say out loud:
“I am strong, safe, and worthy of a healthy and loving relationship.”

The steps below may stir up emotions or memories. Be gentle with yourself. Take breaks if needed. This isn’t a race — it’s a healing journey.

✍️ Step 1: Know Your Toxic Cycles

Take one sheet of paper and divide it into three sections:

1️⃣ “My Past Toxic Cycles”

List every negative relationship, pattern, or experience that comes to mind — romantic or otherwise. Don’t filter. Just release.

2️⃣ “My Present Toxic Cycles”

Write out the current patterns or painful situations you’re experiencing now. Think about relationships, work, family, even your inner dialogue.

3️⃣ “Similarities”

Compare both lists. What patterns keep showing up?

• Do you keep dating emotionally unavailable partners?

• Are you being disrespected at work, again?

• Did your mother yell at you — and now you yell at your kids?

Take a deep breath. What’s surfacing?

This step is about awareness.
Not fixing, not judging. Just witnessing the truth.

✍️ Step 2: Take Responsibility Without Shame

You’ve seen the patterns — now it’s time to look at your part in them.

Take another sheet and write:
“Step 2 – My Responsibility”

Look at each relationship or cycle from Step 1 and ask:

• What did I allow that hurt me?

• When did I silence my voice?

• What warning signs did I ignore?

You are not to blame for the harm others caused.
But acknowledging your role — even in staying silent — is a powerful step toward healing.
It gives you the power to choose differently next time.

You can’t rewrite the past. But you can stop letting it write your future.

✍️ Step 3: Make a Commitment to Change

Now that you know what you want to release, it’s time to declare what you’re stepping into.

On a third sheet of paper, write:
“Step 3 – My Commitment to Change”

List the new behaviors, beliefs, and boundaries you want to embody. For example:

1. I will no longer say yes when I mean no.

2. I will speak up instead of holding things in.

3. I will treat myself with the respect I want from others.

Write as many as come to mind — and add more as you grow.

This list is your anchor. When old patterns try to sneak back in, return to it.

And if you find yourself resisting this part? Ask:
Why am I afraid to be part of my own healing?
That question alone holds gold.

✍️ Step 4: Get Support That Honors You

You don’t have to do this alone.
In fact, healing often accelerates when you’re supported by someone trained to walk with you through the hard parts.

Whether it’s a life coach, therapist, or support group — find someone who helps you feel seen, safe, and strong.

Working through this process with the right guide can bring radical change — not just in how others treat you, but in how you treat yourself.

💖 A Loving Final Thought

To truly break the toxic relationship cycle, you must walk through the very things you’ve tried to avoid. That’s where the healing lives.

And when you begin to shift?
When you start showing up for yourself, choosing peace, choosing boundaries, choosing self-worth —
You’ll begin to attract people who reflect your healing, not your hurt.

That’s how you know the cycle is broken.

You’ve got this.
I’m proud of you for even reading this far.

Wishing you so much love and power on your healing path,
Dina

Dina Blas

Dina Blas is an Inner Healing Coach, Reiki Master, and Meditation Teacher who helps her clients who have experienced childhood trauma break the toxic relationship cycle and rewrite their love story. Learn how to let go of your past and step into your power by contacting Dina today via her website www.DinaBlas.com or by email at Coach(at)DinaBlas.com.

www.DinaBlas.com

The post How to Break Your Toxic Relationship Cycle appeared first on Purpose | Reinvention | Next Chapter | Confidence | Meaning | Legacy | Life Coach | Business Coach.

“Retreat!” constantly flashed in my mind whenever I heard my partner raise her voice. The louder her voice got, the more I withdrew into the past with my abusive mother. For more than 25 years, my mother filled my childhood and adulthood with criticisms and mockery. I never seemed to be “good enough” for her. Resigned to this notion, I broke free of her control in my 30’s and have been on the road to recovery ever since.

The healing process varies in structure and length for everyone. Encouraged by my partner, I allowed myself to express the hateful and sad feelings I had suppressed for all those years. As I hesitantly communicated my thoughts and feelings, the words came out jumbled and confusing, but I persevered. Patient with my efforts, my partner helped me bring my authentic voice to life and start the healing process.

Although improved, our relationship remained rocky because I kept my partner at arms length during our entire relationship. Her abrupt reactions to certain situations randomly triggered childhood memories of past abuse. This made it difficult to build trust between us.
After we broke up, we learned to openly and honestly talk about things that bothered us. The distance between us helped me ease into trusting her. The space allowed me to heal at my own pace.

Truly loving someone means holding on when you can but letting go when you must. Unknowingly loving a survivor of narcissistic abuse carries with it untold disappointments and resentments that may require professional assistance. I highly encourage everyone to talk openly about their past with anyone they plan to develop a long-term relationship. The decision to stay together should be made through a loving and compassionate conversation.

If you know your partner has had a difficult childhood, read the following ways you can help them learn to trust and love again. Remember, the healing process can take a lifetime. Your intimate walk on this journey together can lead you both to a healthy, caring and loving relationship.

How to gently love your partner:
1. Accept your partner for who she is. The good, bad and ugly. Love her for who she is and not who you want her to be.
2. Don’t try to change her or fix her. This is her personal journey, and she needs your support not your toolkit. She’s got enough pressure inside her own mind and won’t be able to handle anymore stress.
3. Understand your partner’s triggers. If you or she are unsure of the triggers, pay close attention to when she shuts down or becomes quickly agitated.
4. Don’t raise your voice especially when you are having disagreements. Getting angry and yelling will only have negative effects on the conversation and relationship. Keep your voice calm and level.
5. Be loving and generous with your touch and words. She didn’t get much, if any, of this growing up. She will appreciate it, but don’t be overwhelming.
6. Allow her to build trust over time. Give her all the time she needs. Trust is ONE of the biggest issues a victim of abuse will have in her life. Be patient and honest.
7. Take time to heal and work through your own issues. Projecting your own insecurities or jealousies onto your sensitive partner may hinder her well-being. Take time to give yourself some self-care as well.
8. Never blame, shame or guilt her in any situation whether it was her fault or not. She needs compassion and understanding right now. Have a cooling off period after a heated incident, then have an adult conversation. This means listening when she is talking, and talking when she is listening.
9. Don’t take her distant personality to heart. Pushing you away consciously and/or unconsciously is part of her current programming. Until it changes, this is a defense mechanism. She has been trained to do this from a very young age. Help her feel safe so she will talk to you about issues that matter.
10. Find out how she would like to be loved. Talk it through or use The 5 Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman to help guide you. It helped me tremendously. I wish I had it during my last relationship. My partner kept giving me gifts and cards (Her Love Language: Receiving Gifts), and they did nothing for me. I wanted her to do things around the house with me (My Love Language: Acts of Service). Had we known this, we may have been able to break through our walls a little sooner.

My list above represents many of the skills and tips I learned during my last relationship. I hope it helps you bridge the communication gaps with your partner.

Remember, always be kind and loving to each other. That’s what really matters.

Dina Blas

Dina Blas is an Inner Healing Coach, Reiki Master, and Meditation Teacher who helps her clients who have experienced childhood trauma break the toxic relationship cycle and rewrite their love story. Learn how to let go of your past and step into your power by contacting Dina today via her website www.DinaBlas.com or by email at Coach(at)DinaBlas.com.

www.DinaBlas.com

The post How to Love Survivors of Childhood Narcissistic Abuse appeared first on Purpose | Reinvention | Next Chapter | Confidence | Meaning | Legacy | Life Coach | Business Coach.