Did you know that you talk to yourself all day long? No? It’s true.

And it’s not just about activities, family, friends, or chores that you need to remember throughout the day either. Even though that’s a form of self-talk too, I’m referring more to the things you say to yourself “about yourself” on a regular basis; and more importantly, the tone in which you say them.

When you make a mistake, do you berate yourself angrily? Do you put yourself down or call yourself derogatory names? When you have a hard time making positive changes in your life, do you put yourself down and call yourself worthless? Do you eventually conclude that you’ll never do anything right?

Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and confidence, especially if it’s a big part of your daily life. When you keep putting yourself down over and over again, eventually you begin to believe the thoughts running through your head.

Most often these messages begin as statements uttered by the adults in your life when you were a child. They may have said something negative about you when your actions displeased them, or perhaps they had a habit of saying unkind things even when you didn’t deserve it. As painful as these experiences can be, even worse is when you pick up where they left off and keep repeating the same negative messages to yourself over and over again.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Even though you may not have been the one to start the negative self-talk, you can be the one who stops it.

So, the good news is that you can change your self-talk any time you want. It’s merely a decision you have to make. Become aware of the negative thoughts and tone of the messages you are sending yourself and consciously replace them with more encouraging ones.

Try these 3 simple steps (with a small notepad or journal):

Step 1) Develop an awareness of your self-talk. It may take practice, but if you keep listening in to your inner voice, you’ll begin to notice when you talk negatively to yourself. With a small notepad or journal, every time you catch yourself putting yourself down, write it down. Answer these questions: What was the situation? How did you react? Later take time to reflect on each situation and ask yourself “Why did I react that way?” Write down your honest feelings and explore them.

Step 2) Challenge the negative messages. When you notice yourself saying something negative such as, “You’re such a screw-up” or “You can’t do anything right”. Stop yourself and challenge that belief. Is that really true? In your journal, continue exploring each situation by asking yourself, Where did these words come from? Who said them to me? When did they say them to me? Why do I believe them?

Step 3) Replace the negative messages with positive messages. When you realize you’re saying unkind and untrue things to yourself, simply turn it around. Write down in your journal or notepad what you would like to say instead and say them out loud. Yes, out loud. Get your physical body involved. At first you may hesitate because you’ve never said such nice things about yourself but don’t back down. You deserve to hear these amazing things. For example, you might say, “Wow, that’s not true at all! I do plenty of things right. It’s true I make mistakes, but so does everyone. I’m a good person and I try my best. That’s good enough for me.”

Over time, your efforts to curb your self-talk will pay off in the form of stronger self-esteem and respect for yourself. You will try more things and you won’t mind making mistakes. Even though it probably won’t happen overnight, the more you work at turning your self-talk in a more positive direction, the better you’ll feel about yourself.

Love and blessings,
Dina Marie Blas

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Dina Blas

Dina Blas is an Inner Healing and Confidence Coach who helps her clients who have experienced childhood trauma break the toxic relationship cycle and rewrite their story. Learn how to let go of your past and step into your power by contacting Dina today via her website www.DinaBlas.com or by joining her private community here: https://links.dinablas.com/Community

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